你已为我拔涉千里 For Me, You Have Trekked Through Thousands of Miles

偶然读到席慕容说到了八十岁她也还会写情诗，我呢，恐怕到了八十岁也还会阅读并感动于好的情诗。仿佛与爱情有个一生的约定，也好像做一个长长的梦，充满灿烂、温婉、忧郁、缠绵、喜悦或痛苦的故事，走到今世尽头，都不愿醒。爱如同美，坚强而接近永恒，虽然作为爱的载体，人是那么软弱，不永久。

人情易变，于是自古就有“人生若只如初见”的感叹和“执字之手与子偕老”的盼望。其实与一个人的初见，那瞬间的感觉，如燃烧的烟花最明亮的时刻，如何能不断的延续和重复呢？如果在记忆中这一刻永远是美好的，不被后来发生的事玷污，已是人生之幸了。人的相伴总会经历风雨程程啊，彼此了解得更深了，虽然与初见的感觉很不同，但还是愿意相守，不更是人生之幸么？

在我的印象里父母的关系与他们那个年龄许多夫妻一样稀松，可是有一天跟他们一起吃饭的时候，不知为了什么事妈妈笑了，这时爸爸说了一句：“笑得和年轻时一样”。我听了差点掉下泪来，也许真的有些什么是从初见到永远都不会变的，即便那明亮震撼的感觉已经那么遥远。在我白发苍苍的时候，身边会不会有一个人说这样的话呢？

喜欢席慕容有关初见的诗句：“我真喜欢那样的梦，明明知道你已为我拔涉千里，却又觉得芳草鲜美，落英缤纷，好象你我才初初相遇。”初相遇的感觉谁都想念，缤纷如梦，但也要知道并感激“你已为我拔涉千里”。

感谢你，为我跋涉千里。

有事做，有盼望 Something to do, and Something to Look Forward to

在皇后大道中有一个经营报摊的女孩儿，我认识她是因为曾请她帮我留一些大陆出版的报纸。每天清晨我经过她的报摊，问候她的时候，她总是快乐而充满朝气。今天早晨我们互致问候的时候，她祝我这一天有事做，有盼望。

多么简单的一个祝愿，却好像揭示了快乐的秘密。如果我生活中的每一天都从喜欢做的事里有一点点成果，对未来的日子怀着一些希望，那我一定是快乐而无悔的了。

There is a girl who runs several news stands on Queen’s Road Central. I got to know her when I asked her to keep some mainland published newspapers for me. Every morning I pass her stand and greet her and every morning she looks happy and energetic. This morning when we exchanged greetings again, she wished me “to have something to do and have something to look forward to.”

Have something to do and have some to look forward to. What a simple wish that reveals the secret of happiness. If I use everyday in my life to accomplish and to hope, I’ll be happy and have no regret.

大城北京 Beijing, A Grand City

这次春节回北京，没有看到故乡变化的唏嘘感叹，也没有刻意寻找童年和少年的影子，平静释然得仿佛只是一个游客。离开的时候，心里却怀着兴奋和喜悦，因为这10天的天朝古都之旅让我看到一座大城正在复兴。大城之大，在于它展现的气魄和胸襟，它蕴含的历史和文化，它的志气追求，它的兼收并蓄，它的人民的宽容、幽默和大度。我看到了所有这些正带着强劲的生命力萌发，即使还有许许多多的不顺眼不如意，但这生命力让我心潮澎湃，让我第一次对一座城市怀上了希冀，盼着自己的有生之年能够见证北京真的经历一场文明复兴，成为世界东方一座充满魅力的大城。

在北京拍的一些照片，在“透过我的镜头”栏的相册“北京2009年初”中。

This Chinese New Year when I was back in Beijing, I did not get sentimental about changes in my hometown or try to revive memories from the past. I was calm and at ease like a wayfarer, who accidentally travelled to the city. Yet at the time of departure, I couldn’t help but feeling happy and excited about, from what I’d observed, the rejuvenation of a grand city. Its history and culture, its aspiration and boldness, its magnanimou and humorous people, its exhibition of great diversity – all combined to give the city an extrordinary vitality and irresistable glow of beauty. It has a long way to come, and for sure, a long way to go. There are still many disturbing corners, but the sparkle of such vitality and beauty has indeed touched me. Beijing will experience a profound renainance of civilization and become the city of the orient, grand and full of charm. This was an expectation I started to cherish when the train took me slowly out of the platform, and then out of the city.

Some pictures during the trip to Beijing in early 2009 can be found in “Through My Lens”.

很近的满月 Closer to the Moon

据说两天前我们能看到比平时大1/6的满月,是月亮离地球最近的一天， 每12年一次。今天清晨的月亮依然很圆很大，静静地悬在榕树湾上空，水也漫上来，天微微亮了，很美的一个图画。

It’s said that two days ago the moon was the closest to the earth in years, therefore it looked bigger. Early this morning, there was still a full moon, over Yung Shue Wan. The water was high, and daylight started to set in. A very peaceful picture.

静听风吟 Whispers of the Wind

好友寄来一张北京三里屯使馆区的照片，让我看看曾经熟悉和钟爱的秋色。是啊，当我想念北京的秋天时，这想念每每化作眼前漫漫的银杏树叶和耳边的低低风吟，还有当年流行的一首歌的歌词“我是一只小小鸟，想要飞，却怎么也飞不高”。连自己那时的样子，也跃然眼前，秋天起风的日子里，常常是一条红格呢裙子，黑色高领羊毛衫，头上包着一块红丝巾, 穿过种满银杏树的巷子，去打大学毕业后的第一份工， 这么多年过去了，我好像还是一只想飞的鸟，那召唤来自飞翔的感觉，不为到哪儿，只为飞。无目的带来自由，所过之处留下想念，这想念有时如同微风掠过，而我就在世界的某个角落，也许是一个月明星稀的秋夜，静听风吟。

To show me Beijing’s autumn colors, a former colleague sent over a photo he took of ginkgo trees in Sanlitun diplomatic compounds with which I used to be very familiar. Yes, when I miss the autumn in Beijing, it is the boundless expansion of these golden fan-shape ginkgo leaves I see and the soft whispers of the wind I hear, and I recall lyrics of a popular song in those years: “I am a small bird, eager to fly but can never reach high…”. Often appearing vividly was also an image of myself, in a black turtle-neck pullover and a red woolen skirt, head wrapped in a red silk scarf, walking along the ginkgo tree lined streets on a windy autumn day, toward my first job after university…Years have passed, and I still feel like a bird, eager to fly. The allure is the flying itself, not to any destination but to fly. Absence of a goal creates freedom, while every episode along the way lingers in the memories. On some days these memories brush through like a breeze, perhaps on an autumn night, under bright full moon and few stars, and all I have to do is to quietly listen to its whispers.

还爱吃巧克力么? Still Love Chocolates?

不久前跟中学时的同桌好友联络上了，特别高兴。 在msn上没聊两句，她打出一句：“你还那么爱吃巧克力么？”这话只有她问得出来，我的回答却令自己失望：“不怎么吃了。”完美的答案应该是:“象以前一样爱。”曾经深爱的东西理应永远深爱，这才因执着而圆满。

这些天来她的这个问题总在耳畔，二十年前的记忆重现带来无比温暖和浓重的怀旧情绪。看到自己生活中有些曾经重要的东西永远丢在了来时的路上，淡淡的忧伤漫起，好象细雨蒙蒙的天气中飘落的粉红色花瓣。这样的忧伤可以让每个人成为诗人。

那时我十八岁，热爱巧克力，热爱舞蹈，热爱舒婷、北岛、顾城，热爱做一切与复习高考无关的事时那种自由痛快的感觉。朋友说我是一个理想主义者，追求完美的人，想想看这是从十八岁时到现在都未丢弃的。人生中的寻觅、丢弃和获得也许就是这样，在不圆满的选择中，执着其实从未改变。

我的朋友，谢谢你还记得岁月中某一时刻的我，就让她安静的留在那一时刻吧。 不过，今天下班的时候，我给自己买了一板巧克力。

Some days ago, I got reconnected with a close friend from high school days. After a few sentences exchanged on msn, she wrote: “You still love chocolates?” She’s the only one who would have asked such a question. My answer disappointed myself: “Not so much anymore.” It should have been: “As much as before”. A sense of imperfection seized me when I realized the loss of a once strong passion, which should have remained, always.

Her question has lingered in my mind. Memories from twenty years before engulfed me with warmth and nostalgia that felt deep and boundless. I was brought back to see things once so important to me but were eventually lost on the way. Pain fell tenderly, like the pink petals of peach blossom falling in a fine, misty drizzle. The tenderness in such pain creates a poet out of everybody.

I was 18 years old then and loved chocolates. I also loved dancing, Misty Poems and the freedom and joy coming from everything unrelated to reviewing for the university entrance examinations. Friends labeled me as an idealist, in constant pursuit of perfection in life. When I ponder over my life from 18 years old to now, I see that such a pursuit has remained. Perhaps this is how it is in the searching, losing, deserting and gaining in our lives. In seemingly imperfect, unsatisfactory choices we make, certain perseverance has never changed.

My friend, thank you for remembering the girl that I was at certain moment in the passing of months and years. Let her peacefully stay at that moment. Only today after work, I got myself a big piece of chocolate.

甲骨 Oracle Bones

Peter Hessler’s Oracle Bones is so far the best English-language book on contemporary China I’ve read. It helped me, a Chinese, to understand better my people and my country in massive social transformations. Stories of ordinary people are told in a very calm and smooth tone. No dramatic climax, but touching and powerful because of the truthfulness in the very detailed observation and narration of individual lives across generations. Ancient and recent history of China is naturally weaved into the present, all relevant in expressing certain characters of Chinese culture and people that have traveled through time and space, withstanding great changes in their living environment. I would put the book on top of the reading list of everybody who is interested in gaining insight into the Chinese society, but tired of the “Doing Business in China” type that are swamping every book shop in Hong Kong.

In the end of the book, Mr. Hessler quoted the Chinese translation of a few lines from Whitman’s Leaves of Grass, and translated them back into English. Interesting to compare these to Whitman’s original. All irresistible lines.

我，痛苦和欢乐的歌手，今世和来世的统一者，
所有的暗示都接受了下来，加以利用，但又飞速的跃过了这些，
歌唱一件往事。

I, the singer of painful and joyous songs, the uniter
Of this life and the next,
Receiving all silent signs, using them all,
But then leaping across them at full speed,
Sing of the past.

(Whitman’s original:

I, chanter of pains and joys, uniter of here and hereafter,
Taking all hints to use them, but swiftly leaping beyond them,
A reminiscence sing. )

第一支椿 First Pile!

Yesterday evening a mail came in from an entrepreneur in Vietnam, for whose construction project we have been helping to raise money. The mail says: “Today 12 Nov at 11 am ICT according to the best time and date we drove the first pile. The pile number was #58. The depth was 35 meters.” The simple line struck me with a strong emotion. On an auspicious day, this must be a special moment in life for him, a moment to see his long cherished dream becoming a reality after years of patience, faith and hard work, and perhaps lots of frustration. Looking at the picture in which a small bunch of bright flowers, incenses, fruits, liquor and chickens are set on a wooden table in front of the huge machine, I became emotional as well, overwhelmed by the power of something real. That’s totally different from all the budgets, plans, financial projections in excel sheets. To the Power of something simple but real, cheers!

榕树湾的傍晚 Dusk Falls on Yung Shue Wan

一转眼，儿子已是英俊少年

周末带儿子乘天星小轮去九龙那边，给他在船上照了几张相。回来输入电脑一看，竟有点吃惊。什么时候这个在我怀里撒娇耍赖的小宝贝长成一个英俊少年了?! 六岁的生日刚过了一个多月啊。岁月走得太快， 想想有多久他没有赖着让我抱了。每一刻跟儿子在一起的时光都是无法重复的时光，那一刻的他，那一刻的我，那一刻的光线，那一刻的气息，都是我生命里一定要特别珍惜的福气。这一点, 就是他气得我掉眼泪的时候，也是不能忘的。