From Lamma Island 自南丫岛

My New Website 我的新網頁

2009-05-15T12:30:00.007+08:00

Please visit my new website at

http://web.me.com/wang_hong/Site/Home.html.

I'll gradually migrate to the new site and stop writing on this one. It's best viewed through Safari to avoid slow loading.

我有了一個新的網頁，去看看吧。將來我就那裡發表文章和照片了。最好用Safari來看，以達到最快的速度。

生日 Birthday

2009-04-08T13:48:00.008+08:00

生日这天早晨醒来，窗外鸟鸣阵阵，树荫青青，阳光要再晚一点才能照进来。

“生日快乐”，他低声跟我说，大概是看到我醒了。
“嗯，又老了一岁”，我微笑了一下，心里很安静。
“不对，是又老了一天”。虽然我不怕老，但这样的安慰还是象微风轻拂，令人愉快。

是啊，日子要一天一天地细细地过，而不是一年一年粗粗地过，那样也许能从每一天里多留下一些记忆，也不至有天忽然发出“不知明镜里,何处得秋霜”的惊叹。如果真有来世，我们的生命真地会以另一种方式继续存在，那么此生的财富中有可能跟我们一起穿越时空的，恐怕就只有这些记忆了。

The chirping of birds greeted me in the morning when I woke up on my birthday. Outside the window was the water-color green of the spring jungle. Rays of sunshine would soon brighten the room.

"Happy Birthday", he might have noticed that I was awake now.
"Yes, one year older." I smiled, feeling peaceful.

"No, one day older." Although I haven’t yet experienced any fear for getting old, such soothing words still breezed through very pleasantly and gently.

True, it is nicer to live the time we have exquisitely not hastily, and count them by days not years. This may help us catch more beautiful moments from each day that would have otherwise slipped away unnoticed, and form richer and more colorful layers in the depth of our memories. If there were really another life after this one, or, life continued beyond death in a different form of existence, the only wealth from this world that could accompany us, on our way through spaces and times, might be only these memories.

闲散的一天 A Lazy Day

2009-03-20T20:23:00.007+08:00

拖了一年的项目昨天终于做完了，高兴，给自己放假，在岛上懒一天。

昨天潮潮的，今天春天忽然来了，鸟活泼地叫，蝴蝶好象一夜间从花丛草丛里全涌出来。从书房的窗户向外望，有一只懒猫，春眠不觉晓似的。好久没去大坪村和我们的晨径，就往那个方向走，惊诧的看到一处花园鲜花盛开，粉蝶飞舞。花园后面是菜园，有人拉开竹门请我进去，一问才知他叫Michael，巴基斯坦人，在香港二十多年了。Michael给我从地里掐了好多新鲜的生菜和菠菜尖儿，还有小蕃茄，中午我有了一顿美味的蔬菜色拉。从Michael的菜园出来走了几步，前面蓦然矗立着一大棵紫荆树，粉红色的花朵象瀑布一样飞泻而下，好看极了。

回到自己的小院，院门处闻到香气，是绿叶间小簇小簇的白花。回到家把窗全打开，春天的海风吹进来，窗纱轻摆，我的心里是静静的喜悦。从忙碌的日子里走出来，不紧不慢的享受自己的岛自己的家，品味周围一切平日里和我匆匆擦肩而过的美丽，便再也不想回到那忙碌中去了。

The deal was finally closed last night after dragging on and on for a year. This morning I decided to have a lazy day on the island.

Spring is suddenly here after a very humid night. Birds are chirping cheerfully and hundreds of butterflies burst out from the bushes without any warning. Outside our study window was a sleepy cat, still not willing to open his eyes in the warm sunlight.

It’s been a while since I last went up to Tai Ping Village and the morning trail, so I set out toward that direction. At the end of Taiping was a stunningly beautiful garden, with all kinds of colorful flowers, over which white butterflies were fluttering. There were vegetables too. Somebody opened the bamboo fence and invited me in. This was Michael, originally from Pakistan, but has been in Hong Kong for over 20 years. Michael pinched lots of leaves from the lettuce and spinach rows and gave them to me with some small tomatoes. A fresh salad for lunch. A short walk away from Michael’s garden, I was stopped by a big Bauhinia tree, thousands of pink flowers flowing down like a waterfall.

When I was back at the gate to our courtyard, I was touched by some pleasant aroma. It was from the little white flowers currently in full blossom among the green leaves. I got into the house, opened all the windows and let in the spring breeze from the ocean. The light curtains started to flutter, and a quiet happiness filled my heart.

It was so nice to have such a lazy time to enjoy home, to enjoy the island and to be touched by the beauty which I hastily pass by day in and day out. I never wish to return to those hectic days again.

《莲花》"Lotus"

2009-03-17T17:37:00.007+08:00

安妮宝贝的《莲花》，是春节回北京时好友送的。以前听说过这个作者的名字，心想一个给自己起了这么个笔名的人能写出什么好作品，但好友是有品位的人，拜她推荐就翻开了《莲花》，不料昨夜一口气读完，窗外的鸟已经开始叫了。

安妮的文字清洁冷静，带着很强的力量，讲述的是离普通生活很远的几个人的故事，让我们从世界的边缘看人生的真实与虚幻，却又可以时时被提醒着自己人生的梦想、足迹、痛苦和温暖。也许我们每一个人在某个时刻都希望成为一个远离世界远离人群远离喧嚣的安静自由的流浪者，即便我们活在不完美的布满种种约束的却又不忍或不敢抛弃的现实中。

书中的两个主人公在13岁的时候一起在雨后的森林深处看到上万只黄色的蝴蝶，在迁徙的途中，沐光而舞，寂寥无人却华丽神秘。两个人从这一天后走了不同的道路：女孩儿向着这蝴蝶的方向走了进去，去寻找真实生命的证明，我特别感动于她说的一句话：“我的一生从未做到过在俗世的幸福面前可以理所当然”；男孩儿退了回来，象每个人一样努力，做了成功的男人，可内心却与这个世界充满疏远和隔膜，无限寂寥，生活该往哪里去呢？

像莲花一样吧，摆脱淤泥与黑暗，向着光明，在这光明中去看真实的自己，去找这个自己想走的路。其他的也许都不重要。

"Lotus", a novel written by Annie Baby, was among a big pile of books given to me by a good friend when I was in Beijing during the Chinese New Year. I had heard of this writer but didn’t give her any serious look, hindered by her garish pen name. The book took me by surprise. I opened it late last night and didn’t close it until the last line was done. Birds started then the first chirps before the dawn broke.

Annie’s language is clean, calm and powerful, telling stories of people who seem to dwell at the remotest corner of the world but forcefully remind me of the desires, dreams, pains and tenderness in my own life and of my own illusions and reality. Perhaps every one of us has, at some moment, wished to be a drifter, free and peaceful, away from this world’s chaos, noise and constraints, even though in the end, most of us are reluctant or too afraid to entirely desert the imperfect lives that we are used to.

At the age of 13, the two protagonists of "Lotus" descended into the depth of a forest and were encountered by an unbelievable scene – thousand of yellow butterflies dancing in columns of sunlight, lonely but magnificent. From this day, the two departed onto different routes. The girl followed straight the direction of the butterflies to look for a true proof of life; while the boy turned back to make a success in the world but felt always estranged from it. Where should one go to find ones destiny?

Be like a lotus, out from sludge and darkness, toward the light above. In this light I may see my true self and in this light I may find a way that truly belongs to me. The rest, possibly, are not at all that important.

你已为我拔涉千里 For Me, You Have Trekked Through Thousands of Miles

2009-02-16T12:17:00.005+08:00

偶然读到席慕容说到了八十岁她也还会写情诗，我呢，恐怕到了八十岁也还会阅读并感动于好的情诗。仿佛与爱情有个一生的约定，也好像做一个长长的梦，充满灿烂、温婉、忧郁、缠绵、喜悦或痛苦的故事，走到今世尽头，都不愿醒。爱如同美，坚强而接近永恒，虽然作为爱的载体，人是那么软弱，不永久。

人情易变，于是自古就有“人生若只如初见”的感叹和“执字之手与子偕老”的盼望。其实与一个人的初见，那瞬间的感觉，如燃烧的烟花最明亮的时刻，如何能不断的延续和重复呢？如果在记忆中这一刻永远是美好的，不被后来发生的事玷污，已是人生之幸了。人的相伴总会经历风雨程程啊，彼此了解得更深了，虽然与初见的感觉很不同，但还是愿意相守，不更是人生之幸么？

在我的印象里父母的关系与他们那个年龄许多夫妻一样稀松，可是有一天跟他们一起吃饭的时候，不知为了什么事妈妈笑了，这时爸爸说了一句：“笑得和年轻时一样”。我听了差点掉下泪来，也许真的有些什么是从初见到永远都不会变的，即便那明亮震撼的感觉已经那么遥远。在我白发苍苍的时候，身边会不会有一个人说这样的话呢？

喜欢席慕容有关初见的诗句：“我真喜欢那样的梦，明明知道你已为我拔涉千里，却又觉得芳草鲜美，落英缤纷，好象你我才初初相遇。”初相遇的感觉谁都想念，缤纷如梦，但也要知道并感激“你已为我拔涉千里”。

感谢你，为我跋涉千里。

有事做，有盼望 Something to do, and Something to Look Forward to

2009-02-13T13:20:00.004+08:00

在皇后大道中有一个经营报摊的女孩儿，我认识她是因为曾请她帮我留一些大陆出版的报纸。每天清晨我经过她的报摊，问候她的时候，她总是快乐而充满朝气。今天早晨我们互致问候的时候，她祝我这一天有事做，有盼望。

多么简单的一个祝愿，却好像揭示了快乐的秘密。如果我生活中的每一天都从喜欢做的事里有一点点成果，对未来的日子怀着一些希望，那我一定是快乐而无悔的了。

There is a girl who runs several news stands on Queen’s Road Central. I got to know her when I asked her to keep some mainland published newspapers for me. Every morning I pass her stand and greet her and every morning she looks happy and energetic. This morning when we exchanged greetings again, she wished me “to have something to do and have something to look forward to.”

Have something to do and have some to look forward to. What a simple wish that reveals the secret of happiness. If I use everyday in my life to accomplish and to hope, I’ll be happy and have no regret.

大城北京 Beijing, A Grand City

2009-02-12T17:22:00.008+08:00

这次春节回北京，没有看到故乡变化的唏嘘感叹，也没有刻意寻找童年和少年的影子，平静释然得仿佛只是一个游客。离开的时候，心里却怀着兴奋和喜悦，因为这10天的天朝古都之旅让我看到一座大城正在复兴。大城之大，在于它展现的气魄和胸襟，它蕴含的历史和文化，它的志气追求，它的兼收并蓄，它的人民的宽容、幽默和大度。我看到了所有这些正带着强劲的生命力萌发，即使还有许许多多的不顺眼不如意，但这生命力让我心潮澎湃，让我第一次对一座城市怀上了希冀，盼着自己的有生之年能够见证北京真的经历一场文明复兴，成为世界东方一座充满魅力的大城。

在北京拍的一些照片，在“透过我的镜头”栏的相册“北京2009年初”中。

This Chinese New Year when I was back in Beijing, I did not get sentimental about changes in my hometown or try to revive memories from the past. I was calm and at ease like a wayfarer, who accidentally travelled to the city. Yet at the time of departure, I couldn’t help but feeling happy and excited about, from what I’d observed, the rejuvenation of a grand city. Its history and culture, its aspiration and boldness, its magnanimou and humorous people, its exhibition of great diversity – all combined to give the city an extrordinary vitality and irresistable glow of beauty. It has a long way to come, and for sure, a long way to go. There are still many disturbing corners, but the sparkle of such vitality and beauty has indeed touched me. Beijing will experience a profound renainance of civilization and become the city of the orient, grand and full of charm. This was an expectation I started to cherish when the train took me slowly out of the platform, and then out of the city.

Some pictures during the trip to Beijing in early 2009 can be found in “Through My Lens”.

很近的满月 Closer to the Moon

2009-01-12T23:34:00.002+08:00

据说两天前我们能看到比平时大1/6的满月,是月亮离地球最近的一天，每12年一次。今天清晨的月亮依然很圆很大，静静地悬在榕树湾上空，水也漫上来，天微微亮了，很美的一个图画。

It’s said that two days ago the moon was the closest to the earth in years, therefore it looked bigger. Early this morning, there was still a full moon, over Yung Shue Wan. The water was high, and daylight started to set in. A very peaceful picture.

静听风吟 Whispers of the Wind

2008-12-18T20:04:00.005+08:00

好友寄来一张北京三里屯使馆区的照片，让我看看曾经熟悉和钟爱的秋色。是啊，当我想念北京的秋天时，这想念每每化作眼前漫漫的银杏树叶和耳边的低低风吟，还有当年流行的一首歌的歌词“我是一只小小鸟，想要飞，却怎么也飞不高”。连自己那时的样子，也跃然眼前，秋天起风的日子里，常常是一条红格呢裙子，黑色高领羊毛衫，头上包着一块红丝巾, 穿过种满银杏树的巷子，去打大学毕业后的第一份工，这么多年过去了，我好像还是一只想飞的鸟，那召唤来自飞翔的感觉，不为到哪儿，只为飞。无目的带来自由，所过之处留下想念，这想念有时如同微风掠过，而我就在世界的某个角落，也许是一个月明星稀的秋夜，静听风吟。

To show me Beijing’s autumn colors, a former colleague sent over a photo he took of ginkgo trees in Sanlitun diplomatic compounds with which I used to be very familiar. Yes, when I miss the autumn in Beijing, it is the boundless expansion of these golden fan-shape ginkgo leaves I see and the soft whispers of the wind I hear, and I recall lyrics of a popular song in those years: “I am a small bird, eager to fly but can never reach high…”. Often appearing vividly was also an image of myself, in a black turtle-neck pullover and a red woolen skirt, head wrapped in a red silk scarf, walking along the ginkgo tree lined streets on a windy autumn day, toward my first job after university…Years have passed, and I still feel like a bird, eager to fly. The allure is the flying itself, not to any destination but to fly. Absence of a goal creates freedom, while every episode along the way lingers in the memories. On some days these memories brush through like a breeze, perhaps on an autumn night, under bright full moon and few stars, and all I have to do is to quietly listen to its whispers.

还爱吃巧克力么? Still Love Chocolates?

2008-11-22T00:29:00.017+08:00

不久前跟中学时的同桌好友联络上了，特别高兴。在msn上没聊两句，她打出一句：“你还那么爱吃巧克力么？”这话只有她问得出来，我的回答却令自己失望：“不怎么吃了。”完美的答案应该是:“象以前一样爱。”曾经深爱的东西理应永远深爱，这才因执着而圆满。

这些天来她的这个问题总在耳畔，二十年前的记忆重现带来无比温暖和浓重的怀旧情绪。看到自己生活中有些曾经重要的东西永远丢在了来时的路上，淡淡的忧伤漫起，好象细雨蒙蒙的天气中飘落的粉红色花瓣。这样的忧伤可以让每个人成为诗人。

那时我十八岁，热爱巧克力，热爱舞蹈，热爱舒婷、北岛、顾城，热爱做一切与复习高考无关的事时那种自由痛快的感觉。朋友说我是一个理想主义者，追求完美的人，想想看这是从十八岁时到现在都未丢弃的。人生中的寻觅、丢弃和获得也许就是这样，在不圆满的选择中，执着其实从未改变。

我的朋友，谢谢你还记得岁月中某一时刻的我，就让她安静的留在那一时刻吧。不过，今天下班的时候，我给自己买了一板巧克力。

Some days ago, I got reconnected with a close friend from high school days. After a few sentences exchanged on msn, she wrote: “You still love chocolates?” She’s the only one who would have asked such a question. My answer disappointed myself: “Not so much anymore.” It should have been: “As much as before”. A sense of imperfection seized me when I realized the loss of a once strong passion, which should have remained, always.

Her question has lingered in my mind. Memories from twenty years before engulfed me with warmth and nostalgia that felt deep and boundless. I was brought back to see things once so important to me but were eventually lost on the way. Pain fell tenderly, like the pink petals of peach blossom falling in a fine, misty drizzle. The tenderness in such pain creates a poet out of everybody.

I was 18 years old then and loved chocolates. I also loved dancing, Misty Poems and the freedom and joy coming from everything unrelated to reviewing for the university entrance examinations. Friends labeled me as an idealist, in constant pursuit of perfection in life. When I ponder over my life from 18 years old to now, I see that such a pursuit has remained. Perhaps this is how it is in the searching, losing, deserting and gaining in our lives. In seemingly imperfect, unsatisfactory choices we make, certain perseverance has never changed.

My friend, thank you for remembering the girl that I was at certain moment in the passing of months and years. Let her peacefully stay at that moment. Only today after work, I got myself a big piece of chocolate.

甲骨 Oracle Bones

2008-11-19T15:26:00.011+08:00

Peter Hessler’s Oracle Bones is so far the best English-language book on contemporary China I’ve read. It helped me, a Chinese, to understand better my people and my country in massive social transformations. Stories of ordinary people are told in a very calm and smooth tone. No dramatic climax, but touching and powerful because of the truthfulness in the very detailed observation and narration of individual lives across generations. Ancient and recent history of China is naturally weaved into the present, all relevant in expressing certain characters of Chinese culture and people that have traveled through time and space, withstanding great changes in their living environment. I would put the book on top of the reading list of everybody who is interested in gaining insight into the Chinese society, but tired of the “Doing Business in China” type that are swamping every book shop in Hong Kong.

In the end of the book, Mr. Hessler quoted the Chinese translation of a few lines from Whitman’s Leaves of Grass, and translated them back into English. Interesting to compare these to Whitman’s original. All irresistible lines.

我，痛苦和欢乐的歌手，今世和来世的统一者，
所有的暗示都接受了下来，加以利用，但又飞速的跃过了这些，
歌唱一件往事。

I, the singer of painful and joyous songs, the uniter
Of this life and the next,
Receiving all silent signs, using them all,
But then leaping across them at full speed,
Sing of the past.

(Whitman’s original:

I, chanter of pains and joys, uniter of here and hereafter,
Taking all hints to use them, but swiftly leaping beyond them,
A reminiscence sing. )

第一支椿 First Pile!

2008-11-13T10:39:00.009+08:00

Yesterday evening a mail came in from an entrepreneur in Vietnam, for whose construction project we have been helping to raise money. The mail says: “Today 12 Nov at 11 am ICT according to the best time and date we drove the first pile. The pile number was #58. The depth was 35 meters.” The simple line struck me with a strong emotion. On an auspicious day, this must be a special moment in life for him, a moment to see his long cherished dream becoming a reality after years of patience, faith and hard work, and perhaps lots of frustration. Looking at the picture in which a small bunch of bright flowers, incenses, fruits, liquor and chickens are set on a wooden table in front of the huge machine, I became emotional as well, overwhelmed by the power of something real. That’s totally different from all the budgets, plans, financial projections in excel sheets. To the Power of something simple but real, cheers!

榕树湾的傍晚 Dusk Falls on Yung Shue Wan

2008-11-07T09:13:00.006+08:00

一转眼，儿子已是英俊少年

2008-10-31T19:23:00.003+08:00

周末带儿子乘天星小轮去九龙那边，给他在船上照了几张相。回来输入电脑一看，竟有点吃惊。什么时候这个在我怀里撒娇耍赖的小宝贝长成一个英俊少年了?! 六岁的生日刚过了一个多月啊。岁月走得太快，想想有多久他没有赖着让我抱了。每一刻跟儿子在一起的时光都是无法重复的时光，那一刻的他，那一刻的我，那一刻的光线，那一刻的气息，都是我生命里一定要特别珍惜的福气。这一点, 就是他气得我掉眼泪的时候，也是不能忘的。

今夏最后的姜花 Last Ginger Flower of This Summer

2008-10-27T19:07:00.007+08:00

如果若干年后在世界的某个角落，我回忆起现在的家，回忆起南丫岛, 那么从这回忆中飘来的气味一定是姜花了。那是一种淡淡的甜香，在夏日的田野中，能带给人一丝清凉。起得早的日子，若是来得及去榕树湾大街走一趟，常常可以花10元钱从一个女人那儿买一把她清早割下来满是花蕾的姜花，待傍晚踏着暮色归来，推开家门，等待你的正是这满屋淡淡的甜香。

秋天来了，姜花的季节也要过了。再放一把在窗前吧。我喜欢生活中这些交替的周而复始的变化，让你在任何一个季节总有些什么可以盼望的，即使在香港，也是如此。

Some years later and somewhere in the world, if I happen to reminiscing about my home today and about the Lamma Island, then wafted with the memory must be the scent of ginger flowers. Its delicate and sweet scent always feels refreshing when you walk in the summer fields. And On days when you are able to rise a bit early and have time to take a stroll along the Yung Shue Wan Main Street, you often have a chance to buy a bunch full of buds for HK$10 from a woman who just cut them from the field, and when you return in the deepending dusk, open your door, waiting for you is a full house of such delicate sweetness.

Autumn is on the way, and the seaon of ginger flowers will soon pass. Let me place another bunch in front of our window. I adore the cycles in life, the feeling of things leaving and returning, disappearing and emerging again and again, like the change of seasons. It gives you something to look forward to in any season, on any day, even in Hong Kong.

清晨的收获 Morning Harvest

2008-10-17T11:43:00.006+08:00

南丫岛榕树湾码头, 晨早出海的人回来了, 收获不小啊! Coming back from the sea at Yung Shue Wan Pier, Lamma Island. Good harvest!

梦见蝴蝶 I Dreamed of A Butterfly

2008-10-15T20:22:00.011+08:00

清晨，我在南丫岛的一片葱绿间行走。明明在岛上，却是一个从未到过的地方，并没有明显的路径，我却很明确方向似地在草丛中前行。最后到了一处灰色的废墟，原本象是一个方正的西式石亭。忽然一只巨大的黑色蝴蝶从身后飞来，先是恍惚的影子，然后就清晰的看见它翅膀上鲜艳的橙色斑点。这蝴蝶落在我的右臂上，安安静静地不走了，我看到它的眼睛望着我。我开始移动脚步离开这个废墟，它仍停在我的右臂上。这时不知从哪里冒一个又黑又瘦的小老头儿，问我：“这是哪一种花精啊？”我开始感到恐惧，用力把蝴蝶甩到地上，它落在草上，却也不飞走…

这时醒了，外面正下着大雨，醒的那一瞬间想着也许这只蝴蝶受了伤, 飞不动了，我为什么没有带它回家，喂它直到好了可以再飞？蝴蝶是吃什么的？…

梦究竟是什么呢? 有些梦会走出黑夜的暗影, 比某些发生过的事还真实，让你在清晰的光线中, 带着一丝困惑，不停回味。

In the first light of the morning, I walked in the green spring landscape on Lamma. This was an area on the island unfamiliar to me. Even without an obvious trail to follow, I seemed to know very well my destination and strode my way through the verdant bushes. In the end, I reached some grey ruins of what looked like a western-style stone pavilion originally. All of a sudden, a giant black butterfly came from behind. First just a faint shadow, then bright orange spots on its wings were sharply in front of my eyes. It landed quietly on my right arm and stayed, no fluttering. I caught sight of its eyes, which were currently gazing at me. I started to move out of the ruins, and the butterfly still clutched on my right arm and wouldn’t leave. At this moment emerged from nowhere a little dark-skinned old man. He approached and asked me: “This is the spirit of what flower?” A chill struck me and I swung my arm very hard, hoping to get rid of the butterfly. It fell onto the grass, still quietly, and didn’t fly away…

By now I was awake. The rain was pouring outside. For an instant, I worried that the butterfly got injured and could not fly any more. Why didn’t I bring it home, take care of it until it flies again? What does a butterfly feed on? …

What on earth is a dream? Some dreams break out of the darkness of night, appear more real than anything that has truly taken place, and push you into a bewilderment that lingers into the broad daylight and refuses to clear up.

Calorie count on the Menu

2008-10-09T18:28:00.008+08:00

Today I read that California became the first American state to require restaurants to display the calorie count of each item on the menu, starting in 2011. This is absurd. Why cannot people simply live by common sense, not by numbers? It is exactly in California where I saw the most calorie conscious people examining labels on everything they put into their shopping carts, yet everyone came to the cashier with carts of foods that can easily reduce the world’s starvation by half. Perhaps it is also the US invention to use “unbiased” terms to refer to fat people as “gravity challenged” or “large and in charge”. What humiliation! I wonder what happened in this world to make us unable to live by the basic rules and principles with which human race has survived for thousands of years.

Below I quote somebody’s obituary to Common Sense.

'Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

Common Sense declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion, his daughter, Responsibility and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers:

I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I'm A Victim

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing ."

灵山 Soul Mountain

2008-08-13T21:42:00.010+08:00

在回港的航班上，读完了《灵山》的最后一行文字，转而望向窗外，阳光竟有些刺眼。在这样晴好的日子，从天上望去，香港竟惊人的美丽。在这里生活了五年多，未曾从内心接受过这个城市为家，也从未发现它可以如此之美。如一个永在途中的旅人，我仿佛一直在向着下一个栖息地前行，或是准备前行。

我想去哪里？我在寻觅什么? 在诺贝尔文学奖得主高行健的小说《灵山》中，主人公走在中国西南寻找一个传说中叫灵山的地方。书快结束的时候，他越过了一条河，觉得离目的地很近了，问路上的一位长者，长者却说：“灵山在河对岸，你越走越远了。”　主人公困惑地问：“我刚从对岸过来啊，如果我从对岸定方向呢?”“还是在河对岸。”长者答。最后，主人公并未到达灵山，而那对他或对我（作为一个读者）都不再重要了。

《灵山》并不是一个故事，而是“我”、“你”、“他”，有时也有“她”的一个旅程，有中国古代、现代的历史，民间传说，叙述者童年的回忆，和旅途中邂逅的种种人物。作者试图在一个极其广阔的文化背景中描述人存在中的一个两难困境：人从独处中获得绝对独立的冲动与从人群中找寻温暖的渴望之间的矛盾。而丰富生命的友情可以威胁个体的完整，无一例外的会在力量的挣扎角逐里告终。

这本书是当代文学的一部罕见作品。我相信它帮助我向生命的真谛又迈进了一步。

When I finished reading the last line of Soul Mountain on a flight back to Hong Kong, I turned my eyes to outside the window. The light almost hurt. On a fine day, Hong Kong looked astonishingly beautiful seen from above. After more than 5 years living here, I’ve never been able to take the city as a home of my heart, and I’ve never realized that it can be so beautiful. Like a wayfarer, I seem to be consistently on the move toward the next destination, or always prepared to.

Where do I want to go? What do I search for? In Soul Mountain, a novel written by Gao Xingjian, a winner of the Nobel prize for literature, the narrator travels through southern and south-western China to search for a legendary place called “Ling Shan (Soul Mountain)”. In the last part of the book, he crossed a river, felt very close to Ling Shan and asked an old man for its location. The old man said “it was on the other side of the river. You are moving farther and farther away.” The narrator got confused and asked: “I’ve already come to this side of the river. What if I use that side to get my bearings?” The old man replied “it’s still on the other side of the river”. In the end, the protagonist did not reach Soul Mountain, but for him and for me as a reader, it appears no longer important.

Soul Mountain is not one story, but a journey of “I”, “You” and “He” and sometimes a “She”, and a collection of ancient and modern Chinese histories, childhood reminiscences, folk tales, and all kinds of people and wanderers encountered on the way. Among many other things, the author tried to deal with “an existential dilemma: man's urge to find the absolute independence granted by solitude conflicts with a longing for the warmth and fellowship which can be given by "the other," be it he or she. At the same time, however, this enriching companionship threatens the individual's integrity and, without fail, ends in some kind of struggle for power.”

This book is a rare work in modern literature. I feel that its transforming power has brought me a step closer to the truth of life. Not an easy one to read, but I recommend it. If possible, read it in Chinese.

In Ho Chi Minh City Again

2008-08-07T10:25:00.006+08:00

This week I am in Ho Chi Minh City again.

Never before in a hyper inflationary environment, I was struck by it right after landing. The taxi driver asked for 250,000 Dong to take me to the hotel. Four months ago, I paid 100,000 for the same. Hard feelings developed. The smile on the driver’s face looked tricky and wicked. I felt I was being ripped off by the inflation but more by people who decided to take advantage of it.

They put me in the same room that I stayed in last time, overlooking the Saigon River. It was a soothing view in the darkness. Local English newspaper reported domestic retailers facing the onslaught of international competitors as Vietnam fulfils its promised time-table to open up when entering WTO. A few years ago, this was exactly the language in the Chinese media. China was “feeling the stones to step upon to cross the river”. Its experience may have built a bridge for others who also want to make the cross.

When the sun rose and I merged into the hustle and bustle on the street again, Ho Chi Minh City again became young, friendly, and interesting. I was most amazed by the order people find under a very chaotic surface, especially when Nhung, my Vietnamese colleague, took me on the backseat of her motorbike through traffic from all directions. I thought I would be scared, but I was not, feeling safe and stable instead. It is obviously also a strength of a Chinese to find order in chaos.

At dinner table, without noticing it, I started some efforts to pick up Vietnamese words. The first word was “NGH N”, meaning “thousand”, because it was the smallest local note in my wallet.

从高处看世界 A View from the Sky

2008-07-24T17:41:00.006+08:00

7月21日傍晚，在中国的广西阳朔, 我平生第一次乘上了热气球。刚刚下过雨，太阳光温暖地照向连绵的喀斯特群山。气球在空气中平稳的徐行，比平静的水面上航行的船只还平稳。在我眼前展现的景象很难言表，却让我心中同时充满安宁与激荡。这时有一只小手紧紧攥着我的手，试图在每次火焰喷射时得到一点庇护；我回转头时，也有一双微笑的眼睛望着我，我明白身边有另一个心灵正看着和体会着和我一样的东西。

从高出和远处看世界，它会呈现全然不同的景象。这一点我希望我总会记得。

(阳朔的照片在 “透过我的镜头”中的 “阳朔的夏天”相簿。)

For the first time in my life, I was on a hot air balloon. It was late afternoon on July 21 in Yangshuo, Guangxi province of China. The rain just stopped, and the sun was shining warmly over a vast landscape of Karst hills. The balloon travelled in the air very smoothly, more smoothly than a boat does in calm water. What extended in front of my eyes could not be fully described with words, but it strangely filled my heart with calmness and excitement as the same time. I had a little hand in mine, grabbing me to seek comfort from the occassional burst of fire to create hot air. As I turned around, I saw smiling eyes looking into mine and learned that another soul was seeing and feeling the same things as I was.

The world looks completely different from above and far. This is something I hope I will always remember.

(Pictures of the beautiful landscape in Yangshuo can be found in the album “Summer in Yangshuo” in the section “Through My Lenses” on this blog.)

今天 Today

2008-06-04T11:49:00.007+08:00

这一天, 我们一同走过并永不会忘却. 我相信并等待历史给它一个应有的名字。

This day we lived and will never forget. I believe history will give it the right name. For that, I wait.

化蝶 Metamorphosis

2008-05-31T14:01:00.010+08:00

从家向后穿过菜田往南丫岛的深处,经大坪村往山上走,有一段可从高处望海的很美的山径,这是我的晨径。进入晨径前是一段葱郁的长路，此时野花缤纷。也是在这一段，每年初夏和晚秋，各色蝴蝶飞舞, 亦真亦幻。

想起儿子在刚会说整句话后不久，有一天忽然问我: “蝴蝶死了以后就变成花了,是吧？”我笑了,说“是,蝴蝶象花一样美,可它小时候是只小肉虫儿。” 蝴蝶的生命,从沉重变轻盈，从丑陋变美丽，从平庸变灿烂，在我心里始终是个奇迹,好象一个绝不可能的梦想的实现。

中国最著名的有关蝴蝶的故事有两则,一是庄周梦蝶, 二是梁祝化蝶。庄周梦蝶讲的是道家的代表人庄子有一天梦到自己变成了一只蝴蝶，醒了之后感觉梦境中的一切如此真实,他问了一个问题:“我是谁? 我是庄周,梦到了蝴蝶，还是蝴蝶的一个梦, 蝴蝶梦到它变成了庄周?”这个故事中所隐含的哲学思想也可延伸至道家对生与死,现实与梦境等人生命题的阐释。梁祝化蝶是相爱的两个人生前被拆散,死后化作蝴蝶破坟而出,随风自由而舞，永远相依。

蝴蝶是中国人的一个梦境，它是自由, 是美, 是灵魂，是爱情，同时却也是死亡，是脆弱，是女人的虚荣和短暂的欢乐; 它的变形是从肉体到灵魂的解脱，从沉重丑陋的现实生活至美丽轻盈的精神世界的升华。而在传统中国文化中,死亡本身就是一种变形，而不是一个终结。

每每置身于这段蝴蝶纷飞的小径,我都有种伸出手去便触到梦的感觉。有时我想,如果我是一条匍匐而行的虫子,用我的一生做交换可以拥有蝴蝶的一天，我会愿意么？变作蝴蝶的我,还会有虫子的记忆么?

In the deeper part of North Lamma Island up to the hills beyond Tai Peng Village, there is a beautiful trail overlooking the sea. This is our Morning Trail. Leading to the entrance of the Morning Trail, a long pass winds through verdant woods and bushes. Now is time for wild flowers and butterflies. Every year in early summer and late autumn, many butterflies of different sizes and colors flutter on one section of this pass, making it almost dream-like.

I remember once being asked by my then two-year-old son: “when a butterfly dies, it changes into a flower, right?” I smiled and said: “yes a butterfly is as beautiful as a flower, but when it was young, it was a caterpillar”. To me, the metamorphosis in a butterfly’s life is an impossible dream that comes true.

In China, there are two most well-known butterfly stories – “Zhuangzi’s Butterfly Dream” and “Butterfly Lovers”.

The first one was about a dream of Zhuangzi, the Taoism philosopher who lived more than 2000 years ago in China. One day he dozed off and dreamed that he turned into a butterfly. When he woke up, the joyful feeling of a butterfly was so real, and he wondered who he actually was. Was he Zhuangzi who dreamed that he was a butterfly or was he the dream of a butterfly who dreamed it was Zhuangzi? The philosophical proposition implied here also extends to the Taoism view on life and death, reality and dream.

The Butterfly Lovers is a legend of the tragic romance between Liang Shanbo and Zhu Yingtai. When their hope of marriage was dashed when Zhu’s parents betrothed Zhu to another man, Liang died of a broken heart. On Zhu’s wedding day, she threw herself against Liang’s tomb. The tomb opened up and enveloped Zhu. Then a pair of butterflies emerged from the tomb and flew high freely and together.

To Chinese, butterflies symbolize freedom, conjugal love, beauty and soul but at the same time death, vulnerability of life, female vanity and transient joy. Its metamorphosis is the extrication from flesh to soul and rise from the heavy, ugly reality to the light and beautiful spiritual world. In traditional Chinese culture, death is anyway not seen as an end, but a metamorphosis into another form of existance.

Every time I walk along the butterfly section before the Morning Trail, I have the feeling that I can raise my hand and touch a dream. A thought often comes to mind. If I were a caterpillar and could exchange my whole life for a day as a butterfly, would I be willing to? When I became a butterfly, would I still carry the memories of a caterpillar?

“在泥泞中, 鞭炮声宣告发现了又一具尸体”"Amid the mud, fireworks signal another body"

2008-05-14T17:45:00.001+08:00

当我读到《金融时报》头版报道中国四川为震中的7.9级大地震的这个标题时，我的心颤抖了。“每过一会儿，鞭炮声就响起,告诉人们发现了又一具尸体，然后哀号声就又开始了。”稍后又看到南华早报头版的照片，是几个死去的孩子，身体部分掩埋在他们坍塌了的学校的瓦砾碎片中。我整个身体颤抖了，泪不觉涌上来。

我记忆中也有一次地震。32年前这场地震从一个中国北方城市中夺走了二十多万生命。我模糊记得在一个初夏拂晓的黑暗中，有多彩的光在窗外，有碎石摇落的声音，床在晃，爸爸叫醒我们从我家所在的大灰楼往外跑。直到那年深冬,我们才回到这个大灰楼里。全大院儿的人都挤到了车库和外面的空地中,每家在这里支起一、两张床和蚊帐。我父母后来用各种颜色的塑料布搭起了全大院第一个防震棚，我在周围跑跑跳跳,快乐而自豪。之后一个多月, 妹妹作为一个新生婴儿从医院直接住进了这个塑料的家。是的，我用了“快乐”这个词，它的确准确形容了我当时在震后这几个月中作为一个小孩儿的感受 – 无忧无虑，不上学，没人管，尽情游戏，象野猫一样自由……

孩子总是用与大人不同的眼光看世界，而星期一在地震中失去生命的孩子们却再也不能看世界了,他们在世上的最后时光也是充满恐惧。我无法从脑海中抹去躺在碎瓦中那些小小躯体的样子，这也完全改变了我对自己所稍稍经历了的那场地震的感受。准确地说，把灾难后那几个月回忆成一段快乐时光，我深感内疚。

在我写下这些文字的时候，一定有鞭炮声又在响起；在我写下这些文字的时候，我心中只有悲哀。

My heart shivered, when I read this title of Financial Times' front page story on the 7.9 magnitude earthquake on May 12th with its epicentre in China's south-western Sichuan province. "Every so often the crackle of fireworks signalled another body had been found and the wailing began again". Then I spot from SCMP's front page the picture of dead children partly buried in rubbles of their collapsed school building. My whole body started to shiver and tears filled my eyes.

I too have memory of an earthquake, which wiped out 240,000 lives from a northern Chinese city 32 years ago. Vaguely I remember colourful lights, sound of falling rocks and shaking of the bed when my father woke us up in the darkness of an early summer dawn, to escape from our home in a big grey building. Not until deep into the winter did we return. The whole compound crowded into a large garage and the open areas outside it. The space for each family was merely one or two beds with mosquito nets. Then my parents built up the first emergency shelter in the whole compound with plastics of different colours, and I was running around, happy and proud. A month later, my new born younger sister came back from the hospital into this plastic home. Yes, I used the word “happy”, because the word exactly described how I felt for these few post-disaster months as a child - no worry, no pain, no school, less rules, as fun and free as a wild cat... ...

Children always see the world differently from adults, but these children who lost their lives on Monday will never see the world again. I cannot erase the picture of their small bodies lying in the mud, and this has changed how I feel about my own earthquake. Precisely, I feel guilty for remembering it as a happy time.

As I write, fireworks must have crackled again and again; as I write, grief was all I could feel.

四十而不惑 Year of No Doubts

2008-04-26T18:42:00.002+08:00

许多同学朋友在今年踏入或即将踏入不惑之年。中国人没有本土宗教揭示终极真理,所以很少在中国人身上发现传教士情结。对生命与生活的观察常常凝结为生的智慧，主要用于自勉与自省。一个例子，孔夫子将他对人生不同年龄段特点的理解归纳为这样几句话:“吾十有五而志於學，三十而立，四十而不惑，五十而知天命，六十而耳順，七十而从心所欲，不逾矩。”

踏入不惑之年的门坎,我们自问何为“不惑”。我想,不惑应表现为宠辱不惊。因为明了自己生活的追求是什么, 所以不容易为外部环境或他人之言所困惑或左右，在生活的起伏中保持思绪的宁静和平安。心灵从日常的烦扰和焦虑中解放出来，得以看到真正的美,感受真心的爱，捕捉到瞬间的温存,听到自然的低语。

生日不久的一个午后，我静坐在阳台上。刚下了雨,微风吹拂。一只墨色的蝴蝶，尾部各有一个蓝紫色天鹅绒的美丽斑点。她飞落到我们的簕杜鹃树上,在挂着晶亮雨珠的紫花和绿叶间飞舞。我发现自己在这个如梦的景象前微笑,心里感动并无限满足。这时我想也许不惑之年真的来了, 我为此而快乐。

Many friends that went to school with me have recently entered or will soon enter the year of no doubts. Chinese have not an indigenous religion that reveals THE TRUTH and therefore seldom display any missionary passion. Very often observation of life results in intellectual or practical wisdoms and is used for reflection on one's own life. As an example, Confucius put his understanding of the general pattern of different phase of a human life in these words: "At fifteen my heart was set on learning; at thirty I stood firm and independent; at forty I had no more doubts; at fifty I knew the mandate of heaven; at sixty my ear was obedient; at seventy I could follow my heart's desire without transgressing the norm."

At the year of no doubts, we asked ourselves what it is to be "no doubts". To me, it means clarity of what I want out of this life so that I am not easily confused or swayed by external environment or attitude of other people. This leads to peace of mind and calmness in emotion. The heart is freed from distractions and anxiety in order to see the real beauty and feel the true love, in order to catch the tenderness in a transient moment and hear the whispers of nature.

One afternoon shortly after my birthday, I sat on the balcony. The rain just stopped. I saw a black butterfly with strikingly vibrant violet tails land on our Bougainvillea tree, hopping on purple flowers and green leave glistening with rain drops. Moved by this almost dreamy scene, I noticed that I was smiling with a full, contented heart. Perhaps the year of no doubt was really setting in. For that, I was very happy.

生命的夏天Life's Summer

2008-04-08T22:40:00.001+08:00

我生命的夏天开始的那一瞬间, 以它的色彩、气味和温柔的抚摸常存在我心里, 到永远。
This moment, the moment that started the summer of my life, stays with its color, its smell and its gentle touch in my heart, forever.

北京奥运 The Beijing Olympics

2008-03-29T21:47:00.001+08:00

There has been rising calls from the West for boycotting the Beijing Olympics due to Chinese government’s clashdown of the Riot in Lhasa. The French president Sarkozy even threatened to keep the option open not to show up in the opening ceremony. The base for such discussions, is, as always, China’s violation of human rights in Tibet.

I thought the time for waging ideological war was over, I am apparently wrong. I forgot that people who grew up with required reading of George Orwell’s Animal Farm and later did not read anything else would never get out of such brain-wash or open their eyes to see the completely changed world. The sad situation is that they seem to enjoy all the freedom to think and to speak and proudly believe so but volunterily and automatically take side based on ideology instead of facts and reasoning. Seek truth from facts. This should be the conciense of all journalists, but let me ask how many Western journalists have reported on the riot in Tibet out of such conciense? The double-standard and self-censorship Western media exhibted in reporting this event is astounishing. Please read the Economist correspondant’s report, who was the only foreign journalist that witnessed the event. Read about the Tibetan mobs’ violent burning, looting and attacking people purely because of their ethnic orginin. Which government in the world would sit there and watch this happen? Talking about human rights, how many have compared the life expectancy and child mortality rate in Tibet in 1959 and 2006? Isn’t the right to live the very basic human right?

Indeed, China was a communist nation that had experienced many man-made catastophes. It’s also an oriental nation, with different set of values and way of life from the West. People are inclined to hate something they don’t know or understand. They comdemn instead of trying to learn. But didn’t China and the Chinese government lift the most people out of poverty within the shortest time in history? Isn’t China now shouldering a large part of the world’s growth need and try to handle its challenges domestic and abroad responsibly? For that, China deserves some respect, and Chinese people deserve some pride. I’m sure such pride will be shown in the Beijing Olympics when the world meet in Beijing. It’s a chance for the Chinese to get closer to the world through its openess and hospitality, and vice versa.

When I was in Beijing a month ago, I could feel people’s enthusiam for the Olympics in their everyday life. Can you imagine that in the glove box of every taxi driver on the road of the city is an English phrase book? People of Beijing are waiting for the world, with open hearts. Any reckless threatening of boycotting is not justified. Honestly, I’m not so keen on seeing Sarkozy’s twisted face in the opening ceremony. Of course that’s just some irrational, personal anger of a Chinese, who has the impression that no matter what happens, China is always on the wrong side in the eye of the West.

舞蹈 Dance

2008-03-14T12:16:00.001+08:00

我是一个不太容易在公众场合达到忘我境界的人，不太善于跳出自我享受人群中的乐趣，多处于观察者的状态。这也许是为什么我在众人中常常显得温和而安静。

记忆中有两次中了邪。一次刚上小学，上语文课的时候走神儿心里哼起了歌，不知不觉从心里哼到了教室里, 直到老师喊我的名字才醒了。再一次大学刚刚毕业到外交部工作去军训。一天大家全排队去了食堂，只有我一人落在后面。心里忽然回荡起Yesterday Once More的词曲, 竟震天动地地高歌起来，听到空旷的营房里自己的歌声越发心潮澎湃。此时外交部带队的田老师蓦然出现，我嘎燃而止，脸上起了火。

无论什么性格的人，大概都需要自由抒发内在自我的出口。世上百试不爽始终能迅速带我进入忘我境界的事不多，有一个便是舞蹈。音乐一起，周围一切都隐去，我成了一个崭新空间里的人，从心灵到身体全在音乐里得到了完整自由的释放。无论是“高山流水”的古典柔美，“西班牙斗牛”的热烈狂野，“命运”的起伏挣扎，还是印度“拍球”的活泼顽皮，全都好象开了闸的水，奔涌而出。我相信它们都是我内在性格的一部分，在舞蹈中得以彰显。

忘我其实何等美妙！离开了舞台，在舞蹈中淋漓尽致的时候少了，生命之舞却仍在继续。或许是岁月赋予了更多的成熟和悟性，我好象正在感受到一种力量或是一种召唤，象乐曲般带我进入自由挥洒的空间，随心的节奏而舞，过至情至性的生活。这是人生的舞蹈，相信它比舞台上的更加真实而美丽。

我爱北京 I Love Beijing

2008-03-03T09:45:00.003+08:00

让我们荡起双桨
小船儿推开波浪
水中倒映着美丽的白塔
四周环绕着绿树红墙

小船儿轻轻，漂荡在水中
迎面吹来了凉爽的风

这个冬日新春即将来临的一个黄昏，我们走在北海公园的湖畔，夕阳在光滑的柳枝间徐徐降落,无比静谧的一刻，从心中的某个角落飞出了儿时的这首歌，觉着自己好像就是这条小船，漂过了五湖四海，今天漂回到曾经熟悉的红墙碧瓦之间，眼睛热热的潮湿了。几个曲艺艺人从身边经过，对着我打起了快板儿，清脆的声音跳跃着划过正在降临的夜色，我们开心地朗声而笑。

回了张自忠路铁一号的老房子,灰楼长廊下那棵国槐竟还在。我依稀看到一个穿着鲜红色灯芯绒外衣扎着编辫儿的小姑娘在树间的皮筋儿上跳跃，白色的槐花在夏天最后的日子里正发出浓郁的香气...这画面这气味仿若一梦, 却又熟悉得如同昨天。离家多远,走了多久,一瞬间与童年相遇，竟如此温暖。明白了一件事:故乡是永远故乡,即便它面目全非,它却是过去的现实活在我今天和明天的生命中,永不改变。

我爱我的故乡北京。

“Let us swing the oars
See little boats push the waves
In the water is the reflection of the White Pagoda
Around are green trees and red wall

Softly drifting, little boats
Into our face blowing a cool breeze
……”

When the winter was receding and the spring was faintly felt in the air, we came to Beijing. At one serene moment while we were walking in Beihai Park, this childhood song emerged from a secret corner of my heart. Behind the willow branches, the sun was setting. I felt like one of these little boats, drifting across waters and now back into the red wall and emerald tiles once so familiar to me. A few folklore performers passed by and started to recite a joke to us to the rhythm of their bamboo clappers. The crisp sound pierced through the dusk, and we all laughed with joy.

We made it back to my old home decades ago at “Iron No. 1” of Zhangzizhong Road, once the government of a warlord who seized power of Beijing for some time. By the long covered corridor outside my window, the Chinese scholartrees were still standing. Dreamily, I came into a late summer afternoon and saw a little girl in a red corduroy jacket, hair in braids, jumping between two rubber-band strings tied to these scholartrees. The white flowers hung in full blossom, sending forth wafts of strong fragrance… The scene and the scent were as clear and close as yesterday. This sudden encounter with my childhood face to face, even in a twinkling, filled me with tenderness and warmath. Hometown is always there, even it takes on an unrecognisable new appearance. The past is a reality, not just a memory. It will live on in my life today, tomorrow, and never change.

I love my hometown Beijing.

游德散记(2) - 莱茵河畔,历史在现时 Travel Notes from Germany (2) –Along the Rhine: Visible History

2008-02-15T15:28:00.001+08:00

The Rhine 的中文名字是”莱茵河”, 这是我所知道的一条河流所能拥有的最美的名字。圣诞期间，我们在莱茵中段驱车徐行, 这段是以两岸众多的城堡和葡萄园著称的浪漫之旅。中国人会很容易陶醉于欧洲的风景，就是在一个萧刹的冬日,在灰蒙蒙的天地间，莱茵河仍然充满诗意和魅力。

然而给我最深的是那么多古迹得以保存并仍是人们日常生活的一部分。人们还生活在草木结构的几百年的老房子里, 教堂的钟仍象中世纪时一样鸣响, 村庄仍象它们最初形成时那样组成了社会生活的最小社群。有人说, 中国文化已经有长足发展的时候，德国人还住在山洞里。不错，可是何处可见这长足发展了的文化呢? 辉煌过去的少数可见印迹早被隔离而大多成为只有付了门票才能参观的“景点儿”，早不在我们每一天的生活里。

我试图理解为什么中国人看起来不太珍惜没有实用价值的老东西，但没有确切的答案。我观察到中国历史的朝代权利更迭常来自于农民起义，总有打碎旧天地创造新世界的意味。另一个观察是在欧洲, 基都教在过去两千年来始终是政治和社会中的一个主要力量, 深深影响了欧洲社群的发展,自然也会一贯的保护许许多多教会自己建设的东西，无论谁是执政者，况且政教合一的情形普遍存在。中国历史没有任何一种宗教曾经成为与国家政权并行或交织的力量。仅一点浅薄的想法。

The Rhine is translated into Chinese as “Lai Yin (莱茵)”. Melodious and picturesque, it is the most beautiful name for a river I’ve ever known. At Christmas time, we made a day out along the middle Rhine, known as the romantic part with many castles and vineyards. European landscape can easily be pleasing to Chinese eyes. Even in a bleak winter day, under grey skies and through grey lands raised on its sides, the Rhine was still poetic and very much inviting.

The most striking to me though is how much historical sites have been preserved and remained in a society’s current life. People still live in wood-clay structured houses of hundreds of years; church bells toll as they did in medieaval times; and villages maintained the way when it was formed as small, basic human communities. It may not be too wrong to say when sophisticated culture had been developed in China, Germans were still dwelling in caves, but where do we see this sophistication of culture in China today? Visible traces of the splendard past are so rare that any of them must be strictly isolated and in most cases become “attractions” accessible only after you pay an entrance fee. They are not part of our life any more.

I’ve been trying to understand why Chinese appear not to appreciate “old things” when they don’t see practical value in them. I have no definite answer. One observation of Chinese history is that the change of power often involoved violent uprise of farmers and destruction of the “old heaven and earth”. Another observation is, Chritianity has been a major power in European politics and society in the past 2000 years. This power consistanly and deeply impacted the development o fcommunities and therefore it has always been there to protect what it has built no matter who were in control of the states. In China, religion has never been a power parallel to or intertwined with the state. Just some thoughts

游德散记(1) - 马克思的诞生地 Travel Notes from Germany (1) - Birth Place of Karl Marx

2008-01-24T10:03:00.001+08:00

距德国与卢森堡边境不远德国一侧的莫索尔河畔有一座小城,名特利亚。据说这是德国最古老的城市, 建于公元前16年。许多人到这里来瞻仰古老历史的遗迹，而大多数中国人知道特利亚，却是由于另一个原因：这里是伟大革命导师马克思的诞生地。

城中有一所马克思纪念馆，但是除夕闭馆。我很失望，失去了一个发现新的视角去了解我生活中这位特殊人物的机会。有趣的是, 中文与英文和德文并列用在开馆时间和其它通知中，纪念馆附近也有不止一家中餐馆，很明显前来参观的中国人很多。

来这里的中国人一定是与我同龄或年纪更长的。年轻一代少有人知道马克思主义或共产主义是什么,除非马克思的头像印到了人民币钞票上。我发现西方世界对共产主义有刻骨仇恨，常听到“共产党人都应该被枪毙”。他们臆断中国人应该对共产主义有至少同等深刻的仇恨，如果不是更深,我们毕竟在共产主义专政下“悲惨”地生活了几十年。事实远非如此。在大多数人眼中，一个共产党员其实只是他们当中普普通通的一员，而共产主义则是一个为铲除社会的不平而进行的失败的努力,是一个基于对人类本性的错误认识而构筑的永远不会实现的乌托邦,是被一些罪恶少数为撅取权利而利用的意识形态。我认为,罪恶的是这些人,而不是一个谋求改善社会消除阶级的哲学。看一看十九世纪中叶欧洲的社会状况便可相信共产主义思想的诞生绝非偶然。

当我还是一个小女孩儿的时候，马克思是代表绝对真理的神。当然，连伟大领袖毛主席都以他为智慧的源泉。今天，他只是众多哲学家中的一个, 我可以对他的主张进行讨论、质疑甚至批判。在他的墓碑上刻着这样的话: “哲学家总是以各种方式诠释世界, 而关键点却在于如何改变它。马克思确实改变了世界，无论是令其更好,还是更糟。

（德国之行的一些照片在“透过我的镜头”中。）

On the banks of the Moselle River in Germany near its border with Luxemburg sits a small city called Tier. Founded in 16BC, it claims to be the oldest German city. Many people come to see the remains of the ancient past, but most Chinese know about it for a different reason: Tier is the birth place of their grand revolutionary master - Karl Marx.

There is a Marx Museum in town, but on 31st of December, it was closed. I felt quite disappointed losing an opportunity to spot things and dcouments that might have given me a new perspective in understanding such a special figure in my life. Interestingly, Chinese is used side by side with German and English on the museum’s opening hours and other notices. There are Chinese restaurants around too. Obviously many Chinese come.

Chinese visitors must be of my age or older. Younger generations have no idea what Marxism or Communism really is unless a portrait of Marx is put on a RMB note. From remarks like "every communist should be shot dead", I’ve noticed deep hatred against communism in the western world. Under the cummunist reign for decades, Chinese are expected to exhibit at least the same level of hatred if not more due to the “misery” they have gone through. That is simply not the case. In the eyes of most people, a communist was just an ordinary person among themselves; And communism is a failed attempt to correct social inequality, a Utopia that will never come true due to the fundemental flaw in its understanding of human nature, and an ideology that was misused by a small evil group to grab power. To me, what is evil are such people, not a philosoghy in pursuit of a better, more equal, classless society. Given the social circumstances in the mid 19th centuray Europe, I would say the birth of communism was not at all random.

As a little girl, I looked at Marx as if he were a God whose words were to be taken as absolute truth. Of course, he was even Chairman Mao’s fount of ideological wisdom. Now he is just one of the philosophers who sought to find an explanation and a solution to social problems and whose ideas I can challenge, debate, or denounce. On his tomb stone carved the following:

The philosophers have only
interpreted the world in
various ways - the point
however is to change it

In deed, he changed the world. For better, or for worse.

(Some pictures from my recent trip to Germany can be found in Through My Lenses on this blog.)

胡志明市街头 On the Streets of Ho Chi Minh City

2008-01-16T16:36:00.001+08:00

出差去越南胡志明市一天,偷空上街看看。趁出差看一个城市总不免走马观花, 但有点时间走出会议室总是好的。这里与我想象中西贡完全不同, 也没有我喜欢的电影《情人》的故事发生地的影子。除了一些零星的建筑外, 看不到法国殖民地的过去。共产党留下的印迹要强的多。几个快速印象：人们非常友善，温和并且特别年轻，好象50%的人口都在十几岁似的；街上的小摩托车象中国的自行车一样多, 过街的时候我的越南同伴说 “闭上眼睛，过”；接头小贩众多，但从不强卖；整个城市杂乱无章，可是人们却能轻松地找到次序。

上载了一些照片在“透过我的镜头中”。

I stole one hour to stroll along the streets of Ho Chi Minh City during my very brief visit to the city. One can never explore any place on a short business trip, but still, some impression outside conference rooms was nice. It was not the "Saigon" I had in my mind or the backdrop of a favorite movie "Lover". I didn't see much sign of a French colonial past except for some sparing apperance of colonial buildings. The communists have left far stronger marks. A few things I saw: people were very friendly, mild and young (as if 50% of the population are teenagers); scooters were like bycicles in China and to cross any street, as my Vietnamese contact put it - "Just close your eyes and go"; and there were many street vendors but I was never met with a hard sell. The city was chaotic but people found their order in a relaxed way.

To share some snapshots, I uploaded a new album in "Through My Lenses" on this blog.

Lions for Lambs

2007-11-17T13:34:00.001+08:00

Enticed by the participation of Meryl Streep and Robert Redford in it, we went to see Lions for Lambs and were disappointed.

It is a failed attempt of Hollywood to reflect on America's War against Terror. The film starts to give the audience a delusion that it leads somewhere but ends without getting anywhere. Full of long and boring conversations, it says really nothing new but leaves the impression of being preachy, pompous and superficial. One scene was the two wounded American soldiers (formerly political science students who decided to do something meaningful and joined the army to go to Afghanistan) gathered strength to stand up on their feet to be shot dead by Taliban on a snowy plateau. This may have been designed to bring a climax to the movie with the heroism of soldiers in contrast to their commanders' hypocrisy and ruthlessness implied by its title, but it only strikes me as being a joke. Lions for Lambs is neither entertaining nor inspiring. At best, it does weakly presents a trace of a shattered society, which had been permanently feeling well, high, chosen, proud of their WAY OF LIFE, now struck to the heart when they try to force this way of life out of their own border.

I hate to see Redford and Streep's involvement in a low quality production like this, although they performed at their level. Tom Cruise, with his typical fake smile, fits well into his role as a Republican presidential hopeful. Anyways, I don't recommend this movie.

水上的大鸟 Big Birds over Water

2007-10-04T12:12:00.001+08:00

从南丫到中环的渡轮上, 瞥见大鸟般的鱼舟, 觉得很美, 很安宁。 Big fishing birds on the water, seen on a morning ferry from Lamma Island to Central.

生如夏花 Life Like Summer Flowers

2007-10-03T15:54:00.001+08:00

今年国庆维多利亚港又放烟花。这是我从来看不腻、永远看不腻的。那黑暗夜空中骤然释放的极短暂却极热烈的美，是我在现实中能看到的与梦幻最接近的东西。当辉煌燃尽，浓烈的色彩化为点点星火慢慢消逝，而天空又恢复了夜色中的沉默，我想起我最喜欢的诗人泰戈尔在《飞鸟集》中的两句：“让生如夏花之绚烂，死若秋叶之静美”。

让生如夏花之绚烂，死若秋叶之静美，这正是我想活出的生命。

On the National Day there was firework display in the Victoria Harbour again. I can never get tired of fireworks. The transient but extremely powerful explosion of beauty in the dark evening sky is something in reality that is most close to a dream. When the splendid flame came to an end, the intense colours subsided into twinkling stars before they finally disappeared. Now the sky resumed the colour of the night and the sound of silence. At the moment, I remembered something Tagore wrote in his Stray Birds: “Let life be beautiful like summer flowers, and death like autumn leaves.”

Let life be beautiful like summer flowers, and death like autumn leaves. This is the way of life and death I will live and die.

大芬油画村 Dafen Oil Painting Village

2007-10-02T21:47:00.001+08:00

深圳没什么可看的,连独特的购物去处也少见,却有一个特别的地方, 大芬油画村。这是龙岗区一个0.4平方公里左右的社区，据说有5000多个艺术家和画匠栖居于此，开有700来家画廊，主要出售原创油画和复制名画。接近村口时已看到楼上的标语：“艺术与市场在这里对接，才华与财富在这里对换。”

进到社区里，看了摆在店里的作品，大失所望。真是只见市场不见艺术，只见金钱不见才华。满街的店铺满眼的画，却不觉的它们与文化艺术有任何关系，到是与家居装修建材城一类靠得更近。仔细一点，可以看得出大部分作品还是出自训练了多年的手。想想这些曾经怀着热情、憧憬拿起画笔的人，历尽寒窗之苦，练就了一种丰富美好的表达方式，却没有表达的自由，久而久之心里连表达的内容与愿望也消失了。若是他们知道有一天会来到陌生城市的一个小阁楼里，毫无创造性的复制他人作品，或为了迎合市场的低俗品位堆砌些刺眼的青山绿水，他们最初还会选择拿起画笔么？可悲的是，我几乎可以肯定，来到大芬村，丢弃艺术，背叛才华，并不会带来与这种牺牲对等的财富，如果真的存在这样的对等。

我们站在大芬的一间被耀眼日光灯照得象快餐店一样雪亮的所谓画廊前，看到多少梦想在这里破碎。

There is a special place in Shenzhen called Dafen Oil Painting Village. It is a community of 0.4 square kilometres in Longgang District, boasting more than 5,000 artists and close to 700 galleries. This is a base of mass oil painting production in China, exhibiting original work as well as reproduction of master pieces. Approaching the entrance of the community, one can spot a slogan high up on a building: “Here art merges with market; talent brings wealth.”

A stroll through lanes lined with shops of painting only brought great disappointment. Prevalent here was the vulgar of the market that has engulfed artistic talents. Works of paintings piled up like building boards in construction material warehouses, resembling nothing cultural or artistic, although observed more closely, some of these works did tell of the skilful and trained hands that created them. Obviously, many artists who dwell and work in Dafen have gone through rigorous training from very young and acquired the skills that would open rich and beautiful ways of expression. Sadly, the freedom of expression does not naturally come with it, and with the lapse of time, passion of expression also disappears. If they had known that one day they would belocked up in a little corner of a strange city, copying other people's work or producing tasteless chunks of loud colours to meet the market demand, would they have picked up a painting brush in the first place? What's more tragic, I believe strongly, the heavy sacrifice of giving up their artistic yearnings and betraying their own talents will not bring the justifying wealth, if there is such a thing of "justifying wealth" at all.

Standing outside a so-called art gallery lit up like a fast-food restaurant, we had to lament a complete surrender of the purity of art to ruthless commercial pursuit. Dafen Village is, indeed, a village of broken dreams.

画、歌声和四川菜 Paintings, Singing & Sichuan Kitchen

2007-09-22T14:36:00.001+08:00

又去了香港著名的私房菜”四川菜大平伙”,上次去还是在两年前了。那时很喜欢这里，布置不俗，菜好。丈夫招呼客人，太太掌勺。墙上的画和女主人饭后的献声，告诉人们他们的艺术背景，显出了与一般食府的不同。

这次去感觉变了。菜还是原来的菜，一样的好味道，不知为什么没了原来的红火劲儿；画还是原来的画，黑白旧照仍是太太年轻时的美丽容颜，却充满逝者如斯的伤感；最后女主人走出厨房由丈夫一一介绍给食客，两个人脸上都是充满疲惫的笑容，友善却无奈而强求。而令人最不人闻不忍顾的还是太太最后的歌。唱的是“茉莉花”，本是轻松的江南小调，她唱的声音和表情真如杜鹃啼血，起调之高太难为自己了。我断定在座的没有一个听得舒服，却也没有一个忍心跟她说“这最后一道免了吧”。满屋的过去，都是死的记忆，恐怕只有这几分钟是最后一个坚守的角落，艺术的过去今天就只活在这几分钟。

艺术与生存总是一个令人徒生感慨的话题。宁愿不食人间烟火的艺术家们为了活也要吃饭。开了餐馆的，还要给别人做饭吃。起初恐怕还有赚钱支持自己艺术追求的愿望，但日复一日年复一年的在菜场厨房度过，艺术的热情和天赋在日出日落间不知不觉的消失了。过去的梦再也无法带入未来，却又不愿彻底忘却，就有了这让人听着伤心的歌。为了她这个最后的角落，我还是会去“大平伙”，并且会坐到最后，为她鼓掌。

宁静的清晨 Peaceful Morning

2007-09-10T11:20:00.001+08:00

周日的早晨, 南丫还未完全从沉睡中醒来. Sunday Morning. Lamma is still half asleep.

礼仪之邦的虚名 Chinese Told to Behave

2007-08-23T17:58:00.001+08:00

记得刚刚上学的时候老师向我们描述中国是一个什么样的地方, 被重复最多因而也给我印象最深的是"中国是地大物博的文明古国和礼仪之邦"。在认字足够多后，爸爸送了我一套两册的少儿读物《上下五千年》，讲述从黄河流域起源的这个民族的历史变迁和文化传统，更加深了我对这种描述的认同、理解和随之而来的自豪。而对礼仪的具体概念，则是在日常生活的待人接物中，甚至象吃饭的规矩这种小事中形成的。

孰料今天的中国国民需要政府颁布准则和公约来鼓励最基本的文明行为和礼仪，真是举世罕见，令人啼笑皆非。随着中国人因其不文明的举止而有望替代美国人成为世界上最不受欢迎的游客，恐怕政府明知这样的准则会遗笑大方，也不可不为了。准则真是涉及了如何穿衣、说话、吃饭、上厕所，最讲脸面的国人难道不觉得这个丢尽了脸面吗？(内容在http://www.cnta.gov.cn/zhuanti/tssz-mb/zn.asp)也许是怕即便这样，有些人还是不能检讨自己的行为，国家旅游局又煞费苦心地编出了中国公民旅游常见不文明行为(http://www.cnta.gov.cn/zhuanti/tssz-mb/bx.asp), 叹为观止。我看这文件还是永远不要落到外邦人手里为妙，他们已经在质问"中国五千年的文明在哪里"。

看来礼仪之邦已然徒有虚名。走在故乡北京的街头，我感到深深的失落和悲伤，好象失去了一个自己内心珍藏多年的宝贝。一个归宿荡然无存了。礼仪的缺失其实只是表面。我相信只有一个从容、大度、有着笃定生活目的和价值体系的民族才会表现出自己与他人和环境交流时的高尚礼仪，而这都是我们现在所缺失的。传统中国的行为准则基础"仁、义、礼、智、信" 显然已经不是今日中国的行为基础。新加坡前总理李光耀先生曾建议将流行的"中国的崛起"的提法改为"中国的复兴"，我想传统文化的复兴应该是中国复兴的核心。何日我们能看到吾国与吾民再次屹立于世界的东方，让全世界不仅看到我们的今天，并从今天看到我们五千年的文明历史？

When I first attended school, teachers tried to describe China to us. The most frequently heard and therefore most remembered description was "China: a nation of vast land and resources, of a long, splendid civilization, and of ceremony and propriety." As I learned enough characters to read, I got a book from my father titled Up & Down the Five Thousand Years. It was a narration of a people originated from the Yellow-River basin, who had witnessed the rise and fall of numerous dynasties and cultivated hundreds of schools of thoughts and philosophies that had combined laid the foundation of a deep cultural heritage. As a young descendant of such a people, I started to grow a strong pride inside. Speaking of propriety, the concept had become specific daily behavioral and moral rules governing everything down to the table manners.

Who would have thought that today, Chinese citizens, descendants the world's longest civilization, have given the government no choice but to publish guidelines to encourage civilized behaviors, even the act would obviously become a joke to the rest of the world. Due to their crude behaviors, Chinese are replacing Americans to become the most unwelcomed tourists internationally. The guidelines touch upon everything including how to dress, talk, eat and use a toilet. (Full text in Chinese at http://www.cnta.gov.cn/zhuanti/tssz-mb/zn.asp). Renowned for saving face by all means, my compatriots, don't you agree that this was a smash right on the face?! Perhaps for the fear that people would not naturally establish any connection between their own behaviorst and these guidelines, the government went on to publish a list of the most common uncivilized behaviors among the Chinese citizens. (Full text in Chinese at http://www.cnta.gov.cn/zhuanti/tssz-mb/zn.asp) I hope this list will never fall into any foreign hands. They are already asking where the five-thousand-year civilization is.

Apparently, little is left but the undeserved reputation. Walking along the small lanes in Beijing - my hometown, I was struck by a deep sadness and disappointment, as if I had lost a treasure long cherished in my heart. A final home to return to had vanished. Absence of decent behaviors is only an expression. Under it is the loss of a calm and magnanimous attitude from a steadfast life goal and strong sense of security. These are what have been taken away from the hearts of the Chinese people over the past century. When commenting on the popular notion of "the Rise of China", Singapore's former prime minister, Lee Kuan Yew, asked:"Why not call it a renaissance, a return to a golden age when poetry, painting, clothes, music and drama flourished?" I do wish someday came the true renaissance of Chinese civilization and today's rise of an economic power lacking cultural and moral underpinning proved to be a painful but necessary prelude.

雨季尼泊尔 Nepal in the Monsoon

2007-08-14T10:43:00.001+08:00

从尼泊尔回来了, 带着对那雨季中的山山水水的梦幻般的记忆, 回到实实在在的生活, 发现两样都是好的，发现自己原来愿意是一个有线的风筝，一张有港湾的帆，旅行的兴奋和归家的快乐感觉都要。

七月是尼泊尔的雨季高峰。每天清晨必从雨声中醒来，然后等着云慢慢升起，雨也变成了飘在风里的细丝，便可开始一天的活动了。大部分时间是雾蒙蒙的，看不到雪峰连绵的壮观景象。在山间小径前行，只有自己和旅伴，间或有一个衣着破旧却色彩鲜艳的农妇出现在雾中，感觉极其不真实，却又极其美丽。是的，即便在云雾笼罩的雨季，尼泊尔的色彩也令人难忘, 是妇人裙裾间的绛红，是阳光偶尔透过云缝射在山野中的翠绿。

尼泊尔人有少见的平和、友善，许多时候安静得仿佛是自然的一部分，深藏着某种与生俱来的笃定。这是否与他们的信有关？这信绝不仅是去寺庙烧香朝拜，去摸一下街角的铃铛，或是往额中眉间点一点红。这信不在行动中，却好象在不思考、不忧虑和不行动中。一个坐在石阶上的老人，如一尊雕塑，脸上看不出什么表情，好象世界和时间都与他无关。可是他忽然在你身后说一句短短的话，你奇怪地觉得他刚刚告诉了你一个秘密，一个有关一切人事变迁和斗转星移的秘密。

雨季中的尼泊尔是世外桃源。我们说好了再来，或者在明年春天, 来看喜玛拉亚的晴天, 看雪峰间的日出日落，想象中那一定会是终生难忘的。

(尼泊尔的两组照片在“透过我的镜头”中)

Back from Nepal, back to daily life with a dreamlike memory of the waters and hills in the monsoon Himalaya. Like the open sea and a harbour to a sail, the excitement of a journey and the calmness of a home are both invaluable to me.

The end of July was the peak of Nepal's monsoon season. Every morning we woke up to hear the rain drops knocking at the windows. As the clouds rose slowly with the temperature, the heavy shower gradually subsided to a mist. The snow-capped Himalayan peaks would still hide in the clouds, for days and weeks. Despite the weather, day trips to the top of nearby hills were very pleasant. On the winding trekking trails, the complete quietness and greenness enshrouded us. Nothing was heard but the footsteps of my travel companion and me. Occasionally in a distance, a local woman would appear in a worn but very colourful Nepali dress. This looked extremely unreal yet extremely beautiful. The colours of Nepal are unforgettable, in a grey backdrop of the foggy monsoon season. It was the dark red skirt a woman walked around in, or the bright green the hills exhibited under a thread of sunshine momentarily breaking through the clouds .

The Nepalis displayed a friendliness and calmness rarely seen in other peoples. Their presence was so peaceful that you took them as a natural part of their surroundings. There seemed to be a deep steadfastness that they were born with. Can I read this as a demonstration of their faith? Such a faith does not stop at stupas, street-corner bells or the redness Nepalis put on their foreheads. It does not manifest itself in actions, but in non action. An old man sat on a stone like a sculpture, motionless and expressionless, as if he was an outsider to the world and the time. However, when he murmured something as you walked past him, you had the strange feeling that he had just revealed a secret, a secret that carried an Answer to The Question.

Nepal in the monsoon is Shangri-la. We will come back to it, perhaps next spring, to see the fine days in Himalaya and to watch the sun rise over the snow peaks. That scene, I imagine, will stay with me as long as I live.

(Two sets of pictures from Nepal are in the section “Through My Lens”)

紫禁城里的星巴克 Starbucks in the Forbidden City

2007-07-24T17:08:00.001+08:00

一个多星期前，在紫禁城里开了7年的星巴克关了，迫于大众舆论的压力。据说网上几十万人慷慨激昂、各抒己见，很多人认为故宫里开星巴克，是美国的消费文化直挑中国传统文化的底线, 不可容忍。就是星巴克最后连招牌也摘了，静悄悄的卖它的咖啡，也难逃此劫。一个外国平民大众的连锁咖啡馆落户曾经壁垒森严的古老皇家圣地，许多人看着不顺眼，似乎可以理解。毕竟星巴克与故宫是两个太鲜明的符号，很容易挑动一个正在重拾自信的民族的敏感神经，唤起它的集体记忆。

2000年星巴克受邀入驻故宫，虽也有非议之声，但远不及今日受关注的程度。或许人们已经开始从无休止的物欲中抬起了头，从一味崇洋从摆脱出来，开始审视生活中对传统与文化的需要。若果真如此，倒值得庆幸。怕的是对中国文化遗产未知一二，对如今金钱至上诚信全无的社会行为缺乏反思，只求一个脸面。若是抓住一个并不张扬的星巴克不放，却对同在皇城的喧嚣得多的另一家咖啡店和午门内出售低劣商品的众多摊贩视若无睹，只因他们是自家人，那就有了幼稚的民族主义膨胀之嫌，缺乏泱泱大国的气度了。

About a week ago, Starbucks closed its shop in the Forbidden City in Beijing, submitting to the pressure from hundreds of thousands of Chinese blasting the Internet with protests. People fiercely voiced their intolence of a Starbucks in the Forbidden City. Most argued that such a humiliation to the Chinese cultural heritage lodged by American consumerism should not be allowed. Even in the end Starbucks took down its logo to quietly run its coffee business, it was still not left alone. It is understandable that many people feel uncomfortable about a foreign grassroot coffee chain taking a place in the ultimate royal palace that had been forbidden to all but the royal blood. Afterall, Starbuck and the Forbidden City are each too prominent a symbol, well representing the cultures that have produced them. Easily can they touch the sensitive nerves and trigger the collective memory of a nation that has suffered great humiliations from various foreign attackers in its modern history and of a nation that is regaining a pride and confidence with the brisk pace of economic development and wealth accumulation.

Interestingly, the very Starbucks shop was opened in the Forbidden City in 2000 upon inviation from the Palace Museum located inside. It had been in operation since. Although protests were heard from the start, the scale was far weaker than this time. Encouraging it is, if it sends a signal that more Chinese people are coming out of a restless materialistic pursuit, from a total devotion to getting rich, and from blindly embracing all that's foreign. Still encouraging, if people are starting to realize the important role their cultural heritage takes in their lives. However, when one sees that nobody had a word against another coffee shop inside the City, far more noisy and aggressive, or about the vendors selling subquality, tasteless souveniors along the City's major corridor, just because these are run by our own countrymen, one is inclined to believe that the protest again Starbucks is simply another act of "face-saving", an exhibition of naïve natioanlism that is not founded on a deep understanding of our own culture or on a sincere reflection of the recent social behaviours that had gone too far from such a cultural root.

石头、剪子、布 Rock, Paper, Scissors

2007-07-13T00:14:00.001+08:00

中午偷闲到太子大厦的一家书店转转，在满架有关美国总统竞选的书中看到美国前副总统戈尔写的新书 The Assault on Reason。撇开书中对美国政治的分析和对现政府的抨击不谈，有个类比觉得有意思。他说恐惧、理性和信仰的关系就像儿时玩的游戏石头、剪子、布，恐惧破坏理性思维，理性挑战信仰的真实，而信仰征服恐惧心理。

说起石头、剪子、布，还很有几分亲切感，小时候最常用这个来决定某项优先权。无论你出石头、剪子还是布，都有可能赢，结果取决于对方出什么。玩儿着玩儿着，发现还有心理战术，可以根据上一局双方的出招猜测这一局对方最有可能出什么。后来发现外地小孩儿也玩，然后发现外国人也玩儿。后来在商学院教授解释博奕论的时候，我又想起了这个童年的游戏。

我觉得这个游戏深具中国文化特色，甚至猜测它起源于中国，也确实听说在十九世纪的欧洲作品中提到它时候称之为“一种亚洲的游戏”。中国文化对各种力量之间彼此作用角逐最终达到平衡和谐的独特理解在这个游戏中颇得体现。传统的中国文化似乎不太看重逻辑思维，所以也就不受A比B强，B比C强，所以A一定比C强这种逻辑的限制，灵活而通融。传统的中国人深谙一物降一物的道理，所以再强也懂得收敛。在中国经济飞速发展财富骤增的今天，在有些人开始忘乎所以忘了天高地厚在巴黎的名牌店里挺着大肚子颐指气使的今天，希望我们还能记起儿时玩过的这个石头、剪子、布的游戏。

Rock, Paper, Scissors

I snatched a moment during lunch break at a bookshop and browsed through a new book written by Al Gore titled The Assault on Reason. One analogy he made reminded me of a childhood game. He said, the relation among fear, reason and faith is similar to that of rock, scissors and paper. Fear displaces reason, reason challenges faith, and faith overcomes fear.

The game “rock, paper, scissors” touched the reminiscences of my younger days, when we used the game for all kinds of random selections. Rock, paper and scissors all had a chance to win, depending on what gesture the opponent decided to make. Having played more, I found the result was not always random because after a few rounds the opponent’s pattern of behaviour could be exploited. Later I found kids from other cities also played the same game, so did kids from other countries. Years later, it reappeared in my mind when I was sitting in the lecture on Game Theory at my business school.

Although played world-wide, this game exhibits a strong flavour of Chinese culture. I even suspect that it originated in China. Did I hear that it was labelled “an Asian game” in the works of European authors from the 19th century? The unique interpretation of rivalry and interaction among various forces and the hope for these forces to enter into a final state of balance and harmony form an important aspect of Chinese culture, quite vividly expressed in this game. It appears that traditional Chinese culture does not emphasis logic thinking, and is beneficially not restrained by the logic such as: A is stronger than B, B is stronger than C, and therefore A must be stronger than C. A traditional Chinese man understands too well that anybody has a natural enemy and can be vanquished; however strong, he always behaves modest and mild. At a time when China is experiencing brisk economic growth and fast accumulation of wealth, and at a time when some people get swollen-headed, forget the height of the heaven and the depth of the earth, I hope we can still remember this game everybody has played in his childhood. Rock defeats scissors, scissors defeat paper, but paper defeats rock.

往事并不如烟 Past Is Never A Wisp of Smoke

2007-07-09T16:38:00.001+08:00

七月七日是卢沟桥事变爆发纪念日。七十年前的这一天，北京南郊日军借口失踪士兵要求进入宛平县城遭拒后炮轰宛平。从此，抗日战争在中国战场全面展开。（历史细节可参看http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marco_Polo_Bridge_Incident）枪炮声粉碎了芦沟晓月的安详与宁静. 此后长达八年之久,“月圆之夜人不归，花香之地无和平。”

最近读已故华裔作家张纯如的《南京大屠杀》（Rape of Nanking），这场二战中鲜为人知的大屠杀发生在卢沟桥事变五个多月后，远东军事法庭的死亡未武装军民人数是二十六万。日方承认屠杀的发生，但不确认数字。（日本官方立场参看 http://www.mofa.go.jp/policy/q_a/faq16.html#q2) 书中揭露的日军暴行实在超出正常人可以想象的范围，我无法描述看到历史图片时的震惊与悲愤。记起二十几年前我还在读中学时认识了第一个南京人，只比我大几岁，提起日本，只有恨。而到了一两年前，一位北京的密友托我在香港买一架数码相机，特别嘱咐，“不要日本货，好也不要”。我说除了日本货没什么选择了，回答是“看看韩国的吧。”

中国人的反日情节前一阵因种种事件常常成为话题。跟西方的朋友讨论的时候，几乎每次都被问同一个问题：“你只拿日本的态度跟德国比，大跃进和文革中死了多少人，怎么没人要求正式道歉啊？”我说这是应该分别讨论的话题，一个人为的灾难不能成为其他不相关暴行的借口。然而这些现代史上的大灾难，无论发生在哪里，都将人性中的软弱、黑暗、残忍和个体生命之间的彼此践踏暴露到极致。给予一定的环境，即便是平日善良、平和的普通人也会被英雄主义、宗教热情、私欲和权利的追求所充满，或是迫于极端恐惧，犯下连他自己也想象不到的恶行。可怕的是，每一个人心中都有这样的种子。

也许这是我们更应记取的。往事并不如烟。

July 7th was the 70th anniversary of the Marco Polo Bridge (Lugou Bridge) Incident. On this day seventy years ago, the Japanese Army deployed outside Wanping Town in southern suburb of Beijing requested to enter the town to search for a missing Japanese soldier. When the request was denied, the army started bombarding the town while the infantry with tanks marched across the Bridge. Sino-Japanese War since exploded in full scale. (Refer to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marco_Polo_Bridge_Incident for details) The war lasted 8 years.

About five months after the incident, Nanking Massacre took place. Iris Chang, in her book Rape of Nanking, referred to the massacre as the unknown holocaust of WWII. International Military Tribunal of the Far East estimated that more than 260,000 noncombatants were systematically raped, tortured and murdered in Nanking. The Japanese government acknowledges the occurrence of the massacre but not the number of lives lost. (Find the Japan's official position at http://www.mofa.go.jp/policy/q_a/faq16.html#q2). The violence, brutality and total disregard for human life exceeds any imagination that can be fostered by a normal human being. The shock, grief and indignation I experienced when I saw the historical pictures were beyond words.

I remember about 20 years ago being a high-school student, I got to know for the first time somebody from Nanking. Just a few years older, he exhibited such hatred when he heard the term “Japan”. Then one or two years ago a friend asked me to buy a digital carema from hong kong but specifically reminded me not to buy Japanese brand even they were better in quality. I asked "what's left except these Japanese brands". The answer was “please try the Korean ones”.

Due to several recent incidents in the Sino-Japanese relation, the anti-Japanese sentiment in China has occasionally become a topic in discussion. I was often challenged by the question, mostly raised by Western friends, “You Chinese only compare the attitude of government of Japan with that of Germany. How come nobody has ever asked for apology and compensation for lives lost during the Great Leap Forward and the Cultural Revolution?” I would say these are separate topics and one man-made disaster should not become the excuse for an un-related atrocity. In retrospect, when I look at all these catastrophes in contemporary world history, regardless of where they took place among which ethnic groups, they all exposed to an extreme extent the weakness, darkness and brutality as part of human nature and the cruelty one individual life exhibits to another. Given certain environment, an average kind and mild person can commit a crime even beyond his own imagination, overwelmed by fear or inspired by heroism, religious passion, or pursuit of self-interest and power. What is horrifying is the seed of this part of human nature exists in each of us.

Perhaps this is what we can learn from the history. Past is never a wisp of smoke.

宗教 Religion

2007-07-04T16:00:00.005+08:00

若干年前的一个冬天在北京的一辆公共汽车上，我的头脑忽然莫名其妙的被死亡这个概念弥漫，并初次体会到对死亡的恐惧。我到现在也清楚地记得，在这辆公共汽车颠颠荡荡中，我开始思考有关永恒，以及一个脆弱的生命如何得以与永恒相连，并找到在存在一次的意义。

各种宗教似乎都与解释这个意义有关，告诉人生命从哪里来，到哪里去，现在应该遵行怎样的行为准则才能死后上天堂或者脱离轮回的苦海。我从小的教育断然地、绝对真理般的灌输给我无神论的世界观，称宗教为精神的鸦片。到了美国，虔诚的基督徒颇具爱心的将我带进他们的聚会，希望我经过洗脑接受他们的主基督也做我生命的主，告诉我这是生命的活水。世界上大多的主要宗教似乎都强调信徒聚集崇敬他们所信的神并彼此沟通的重要，就连崇尚自我修行、远避尘世的佛教也有此趋势，这样就把信徒带到了团体中，成为了被组织起来的个体。人的组织毕竟是人的组织，无论初衷是多么圣洁。宗教组织由于其自称的与天地之主宰者的关联和对生命真理的掌握，为他们的任何行为找到了借口。纵贯教会的历史，黑暗、血腥、杀戮比比皆是，所以当美国总统布什用“crusade”这个词的时候，世界上多少人不寒而栗。
我开始相信人对永恒的追求和与永恒的最终相连是每一个个体的孤独的心灵之旅。这是超越于任何宗教团体之上的更勇敢、更纯粹的精神诉求，可以与任何宗教无关。高行健有一本书叫《一个人的圣经》，是他自己放逐生活的记录。我还没读过这本书，但喜欢这个书名。最后的时刻每一个人都是独自推开那扇通往未知的门，希望我们手里捧着的、属于我们自己的这本圣经，能让我们平安对待我们可能看到的一切。

梦想 Dream in Life

2007-07-04T15:58:00.001+08:00

早晨起得早，外面下着大雨，拿出买了很久却一直没机会看的电影《孔雀》，看了一部分。一整天电影里的一组镜头总在眼前回映。女孩儿骑着一架28男式旧自行车，车后拖着一个天蓝色的小降落伞，车前行时起的风将小伞托起，在女孩儿身后飞舞。女孩的脸上满是快乐，她甚至松了车把，手臂在身体两侧延伸开去，象飞一样。这个情景让我想起电影的名字：孔雀。原来女孩一心想当伞兵，却没有被录取，就自己在家踩缝纫机，作了这个自行车牵起的伞，给自己的梦想一次短暂的实现。这个过程中的稚幼，执著和几分癫狂，给我的眼睛蒙了一层泪。

想起小时候写作文，常常得到有关理想的命题，但不记得在什么时候有老师让我写过有关梦。或许是社会主义的学校不推崇唯物范畴之外的东西。梦想被关在遥不可及的虚拟状态里，犹如水中月，镜中花，并不被正面鼓励。而山山水水地走了这些年，此时我却深刻地感到人生如梦的美丽，被梦想牵引和塑造的生活的不同。它其实离现实是多么的近，生于热望，长于破碎，在你的心孕育它的时候，它已是你人生一个真实的部分，而当你伸手触到它的一刻，它成为了你的历史，并且如同所有历史一样改变了你的人生。

梦想的障碍有许多外在的，更多是内心的。梦想和现实或许只是从两个不同的方向去接近同一个存在，或者原本就是同一存在的阴阳两面。没有梦想的人生是不是只活出了它原有丰富内容的一半？

有梦的人生美丽如蝶，蜕变的痛苦让这美丽灿烂并持久直至生命的终结。但愿梦想能伴随我一路，并燃亮它的尽头。

父母 Parents

2007-07-04T15:53:00.001+08:00

5月8号是妈妈的生日。我打电话祝贺的时候，她特别高兴，但是说她和爸爸商量以后不过生日了。我没有问为什么，但心里明白她不想庆祝自己走向衰老也不想一年一度的被提醒那最后一刻的靠近。我身在千里之外，每次回京见他们，也感觉到时间的脚步从未停息。

父母曾经是我的屏障，很多年，就是我自认为很独立、四海为家，与他们远隔千里的时候，也是。世界上许多东西只有在失去时才体会其珍贵。我想理解父母对我生命的全部意义的这个过程，也只有在我们天人永别这一刻才能完成。有了自己的孩子，是对这个过程的大大促进，儿子对我毫无保留的爱、信任、依赖，让我知道我在他生活里的位置，也更促我回想在我的成长中父母所给与我的。

人至中年，每一个日子里所面对的种种起伏，现实的、情感的、心灵的、精神的，似乎是父母所无法参与的了。我知道他们仍然渴望参与，从每次接到我电话的兴奋，我知道，那种爱、牵挂、和给我保护的意识从未改变。但我们毕竟是远了，我们的关系中也增添了新的内容，就是我该给与他们的支持，在他们变老变弱略显孤单的时候。他们要的很少，一点安慰、一点陪伴和一点分享吧。我所做得更少，可能就连他们所希冀的一点点也没有给全。

我想有一种方式，让我能真正了解我父母的一生。我渴望象成人的朋友之间的对话，让我知道给与我生命的这两个人，在他们的一生中究竟经历了什么、梦想过什么；为什么而快乐、而忧伤……我对父母的了解少得可怜。多年的分离让我们就是坐在一处时所能谈得也有限。虽然我知道，我们之间这一种爱是不依赖于任何东西而存在和延续，但是渴望有一些时刻能让我走进他们的历史和内心，真正认识世界上最疼我和爱我的这两个人。

家 Home

2007-02-12T17:29:00.001+08:00

从没想过在一个嘈杂而物质的城市的近旁找到了一个家。三十分钟的船程，完全两样的世界 - 那一侧是Asia's World City, 这一侧是海水和阳光簇拥的绿色村庄。走在名为榕树湾大街却只有两三米宽的街市上，似乎每一个人都认识你，跟你点头打招呼。再不久，就真的开始在头脑里编织关于他们每个人的故事了，对他们感兴趣了，好像这是一群跟自己很近，很有关系的人。人之间亲近感的形成很有意思。在夜晚的山坡上你抬头看见满天的星，你兴奋地寻找自己所认识的那几个有限的星座，这是你感觉到近旁一个路人眼中的笑意，这亲近感瞬间就来了，虽然擦身而过之后还是陌生人，但是心里可能有的孤独感忽然没了。家是一个没有孤独感的地方。南丫岛就在这个意义上成为了我的家。